Oscar Red Carpet 2012

Yay! It's that time of year again. It's time for my highly anticipated non-expert-entirely-subjective fashion review.

I'll start this post by saying that I wasn't thrilled with the Red Carpet looks this year. There were a few exceptions that were really gorgeous, but overall I'm not loving the styles that are in this year. However, since I'm a ballgown-poofy-more-is-more kinda girl, I have a hard time when the looks trend more towards slim and sleek.

There were a lot of pretty vintage hairstyles on the carpet which I really loved, and some severe looking bangs. This year's theme was definitely Black and White. Black and White were the 'it' colors:Milla Jovovich wore Elie Saab and looked positively gorgeous. Check out that stunning 1930's hairstyle. A lot of 'best dressed' lists have her at the top this year. While I really like the gown, it just doesn't beat out some of my other favorites.Even royalty got the message to show up in white: Here's Prince Albert of Monaco and his wife Princess Charlene.I was thrilled that Ocatavia Spencer won Best Supporting Actress. I have mixed feelings about the Tadashi Shoji gown. She has apparently been very loyal to this designer all awards season, but I'm not in love with it. However, I can find no fault with the fit, and I think it flatters her figure. Guiliana Rancic's Tom Ward gown was flattering, although I thought there was too much going on.BingBing Li's George Chakra gown was very pretty. I'm not sure this image picks up on the textured gown covered in flowers. The part I didn't like? The transparent stripes running up each thigh.Cameron Diaz in Gucci. I really liked this gown and the dramatic train. There were some fitting issues with her basque top right at the waist, but overall one of my favorites out of the white category.Kelly Ripa also looked great in this gown. I can't figure out who designed her gown, and now that I'm researching it I'm finding out that the gown is actually pale yellow. Huh. I'm leaving it here in the white category.So now we get to the black evening gowns. Gary Oldman's wife Alexandra Edenborough looked gorgeous in a Roberto Cavalli gown.Kelly Osmond sported this Badgley Mischka gown. I didn't think this was a stand out gown, but it's very flattering and fits into the black category.
I could barely restrain myself from placing Anne Sophie Bion on the worst dressed list for this wrinkled-garbagebag-wannabe-gown. In the end I decided there were worse offenders, so I've left her here.Tina Fey...I LOVE Tina Fey, but I did not love this gown. I'm using it to illustrate the 'black' trend even though I'm perfectly aware that she's wearing navy. Oh well, close enough. I didn't like the waist apron thing, but I guess if you overlook this detail that will make your hips look bigger than they are it's an ok dress. Gown by Carolina Herrera.Now we move away from the "White and Black" category into the gowns I really didn't love. Given the fact that I'm a plus size, I'll be the last to pick on Melissa McCarthy. However, I think there were nicer gowns out there...she needed to pick something with structure. Billowy gowns tend to make us big girls look even bigger.Michele Williams in Louis Vuitton. While I can't say that this is a 'bad' dress, I just didn't like it and certainly will not be joining the crowd that named her 'best dressed.' First off, if you're going to be on TV, I think you should pick a color that will register well onscreen. I'm told that the coral gown was stunning in person, but all I can see is a red gown. Plus, this gown has the same problem that Tina Fey's does...it adds to the hips. The detailing looks very interesting, though.Rooney Mara in Givenchy. Apparently it's big news that they actress skipped her signature black look and went for a white gown. While I applaud that, and love the contract between the white gown and the black hair, the gown is very poorly fitted in the chest. She revealed on the red carpet that she only selected it the morning of the show, so maybe that was the problem. Can I add...the fashion police kept cooing over this dress' 'structure.' Folks, that gauzy dress has very little structure to it. The woman wearing it is the only thing providing any structure up top.Penelope Cruz in Armani. Okay, before you get mad at me for saying I don't like this, let me open by saying I can't quite pin down why I don't love it. Maybe it's because it didn't fit in with this year's red carpet looks. It was out of place. Maybe it's something with the color...I just kept wrinkling my nose when I saw it. I love Penelope's hair, the cut of the gown is very flattering on her, and I love the way it trails behind her. If I saw her at a White House dinner in this gown I probably would have loved it. She seriously could be Jackie Kennedy...Bernice Bejo. Ouch. I really didn't like this one. It's mint, it's sparkly all over, it has sleeve, it has nude insets in the sleeves. This is far too matronly for a woman as young and beautiful as Bernice. This is seriously something I'd expect to see Hillary Clinton wearing as the mother of the bride. I wish she'd made a more bold selection.Viola Davis in Vera Wang. It was funny...watching the red carpet, everyone was gushing about this gown and how it fit her just right and showed off her assets. Then, when she didn't win the award, the next morning all anyone could say is that the hem was a mess (like someone had gone crazy with the scissors). I respectfully disagree with everyone. The color was great. The top was all wrong...it didn't show off her assets...it left us wondering when they would pour out. And as for the 'messy' hem...I loved it. I do also love that she wore her natural hair. She's gorgeous (apparently she frequently wears wigs for her roles).Maya Rudolph. I'm going for the obvious jab here...it looks like the actress from "The Bridesmaids" is wearing a bridesmaid gown. I like the purple, but I really don't like the silver shoulder pad sleeves.Kristen Wiig in J. Mendel. BAD nude color. Nude is one of things you can or can't pull off, and I don't think this was a hit for Kristen.I guess I'm going to go ahead and pick on the Oscar Winner Meryl Streep (in return, I'm sure God will make sure I don't look half as good at her age). I love the color, I love the neckline, and I'm very happy she won the Oscar. But I don't like the rest of the gown. It looks like she threw on a robe, belted it, and accessorized. Moving into my "Worst Dressed." What was Sandra Bullock thinking???? It's shiny satin on top, dull velvet on bottom (fitted like Morticia Adams' skirt) with this weird spidery belt attacking her midriff. Plus, with few exceptions, I don't think a pony tail is dressy enough for the red carpet. Overall, kind of matronly.Anna Farris. Also matronly. Also a hot sequin mess with sleeves. Add shoulder pads and it's something right out of my 1980's nightmares. Where Mara Rooney's severe black hair cut looked gorgeous with a white gown, Anna's blond do is not complemented by the black gown.Shailene Woodley is almost eleven years younger than I am. I can only pray that several decades will pass before I admit defeat and wear a style like this. It's a 1970's Princess Leia interlock mess. All she was missing were the buns.Yes, that's right, folks. Angelina Jolie is on my worst dressed list. Most everyone is loving this gown on the internet, but I refuse. She's wearing black velvet, and I feel it weighs down this gown. There's too much fabric, her arms are skeletal, that skinny white leg just does not look attractive sticking out of the slit. I normally really like her looks, but this year she's just too skinny, and the dress highlights all the wrong parts. (I looked up the fashion police review of this dress after I wrote this...I can't believe that Joan Rivers and I agree on something)
Melissa Leo's Reem Acra dress was a disaster. It didn't fit, and I hate the button-down shirt top. Very unflattering.
Nancy O'Dell in neon-make-your-eyes-bleed-yellow. This gown would have been gorgeous in almost any other color. The fake tan and blond hair clash terribly with this color. Nancy, you win this year's crown for worst dressed.Now we're moving out of the 'worst' and into the gowns I enjoyed. A lot of people picked on Glenn Close's gown, but I though the bust of the gown fit her beautifully. I might have made the jacket shorter and taken a bit of fabric out of the train, but this was a flattering gown and a flattering color on her.Kate Mara in a blush Jack Guisso gown. I really like the little floral applique embellishments on this gown and the one sleeve. Her awkward pose was unfortunate and didn't help show off the gown.Colin Firth and his wife Livia Giuggioli looked great together. She looks very vintage in this custom Vallentino gown...it makes me think of the elegant sixties.
Natalie Portman in Vintage Dior. This gown fit her perfectly (unlike so many other gowns that we saw on the red carpet this year). I LOVED the polka dots, and the little gather/ruching at the knee in the back.Leslie Mann in a Roberto Cavalli gown. I love the fabric drape at the hip. It's so flattering. The top looks like it was made for her (maybe it was...), and I feel like that's the way an Oscar gown should fit.
Maria Menounos. After making fun of another minty green gown earlier in this review, I have to laugh a bit that this one is on my best dressed. The vibe is completely differing. It's green chiffon layered over a shimmering gold fabric, and it the cut of the gown makes her look like a greek goddess. LOVED this gown.Ellie Kemper in Armani Prive. I LOVED this gown. I have to admit I wanted to smack Ellie for referring to it as a 'rust' color. Rust is ugly. Copper is pretty. I'm surprised that the color goes so well with her red hair, but this was a definite hit for me. And moving on to our first nominee for Best Dressed. Jennifer Lopez' daring and revealing Zuhair Murad gown was gorgeous and hugged her curves in all the right places. As to the alleged wardrobe malfunction...I don't believe for a second that it happened. With a plunging neckline that, she was probably glued into that dress to make sure that everything stayed where it was supposed it.George Clooney must have known he wasn't taking home the statue, but it was okay because his girlfriend Stacy Keibler's was Oscar personified in her Marchesa dress. I usually hate the gold dress-like-oscar gowns, but this one is just so flattering and hugs her in all the right places. I was highly amused by the E! commentary, when one of the stylists gasped and realized where the 'missing' gold Marchesa gown she'd wanted for one of her clients was. It's good to be Clooney's girlfriend.Emma Stone in Giambattista Valli. I LOVE this gown. She looked so statuesque. I loved the bow, I loved the slip from neck to navel that was only visible once she began presenting, the belted waist, and and I love how the raspberry fabric flowed around her. There's been a lot of criticism regarding her selection, saying she wore the same dress as Nicole Kidman wore in 2007. Folks, they each were a shade of red and had a bow. The comparison stops there. She looks gorgeous, and she's high on my best dressed list. Rose Byrne in Vivienne Westwood. Va Va VA Voom!!! Westwood is admittedly one of my favorite designers, but wow. The gown (which is apparently midnight blue...not black), shimmers, fits her like a slim column, and has an amazing one shoulder strap. The platform peep toe shoes, the long silver earrings, and the severe bob cut just makes this outfit sophisticated perfection. I want to be her.Gwyneth Paltrow in Tom Ford. She looks like a million dollars and is officially my hero if she succeeds in helping the cape to make a comeback. The elegant and simple lines of the gown and cape are just perfect, and I was amazed at how well the one shoulder look works with the cape. The award for Best Dressed goes to Jessica Chastain in her larger-than-life McQueen gown. The gold embroidery and beading on black is just stunning, and it had a gorgeous train. The colors worked very well with her red hair. Before I knew it was a McQueen gown, I was immediately reminded of his iconic Peacock dress. Just like every girl dreams of her wedding dress, I think if you grow up dreaming of going to the Oscars, this is the kind of dress you dream of and it's the kind of dress you wear when money is no object.

So what did you think? Did I leave anyone out? I'd love to hear from you. Fashion is subjective, so I'd love to hear from you if you're loving/hating something I didn't.